All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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