Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
