i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
