Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
