so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
