Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
