Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
