Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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