I faked an abortion last night.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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