He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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