if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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