just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Randomize
