I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
