I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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