yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Randomize
