You just made me feel so damn special
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
