I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
