you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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