I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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