so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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