im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
