I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
