Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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