i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
