did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
