everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
