i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
