I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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