GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My liver just had a heart attack.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
