He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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