Don't you send me to vm
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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