You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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