just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize