my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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