arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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