I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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