someone get that fucking seahorse.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
