I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No subtext here. People are naked.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
