And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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