I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
