I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
