Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
