We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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