so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
