Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize