I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
