I am in a vortex of obligation.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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