Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
