The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize