11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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