So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I look better un-naked...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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