69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
