My Higher Power is John Stamos
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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