Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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