My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize