he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
