No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
