Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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