My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
