I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
