? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
